Telling Your Family You Love Them

Do you ever just look at your children and think, “Wow, I have awesome kids. I am so lucky?” Do you ever just stay up late and pillow talk with your spouse about how glad you are that you have your children and not someone else’s? Do you ever just smile at your children because you are so proud of how individual they are?

I probably think about how much I love my children everyday . . . well, okay . . . how about most days. Like all parents, my husband and I love talking about how cool we think our kids are. But I realized the other day that lately I haven’t been expressing the things I love about my children to my actual children.

And I’m talking about specific stuff. I tell them I love them every night at bedtime, which is good. But sometimes they probably need to hear more than that. I think things in my head all the time. “She looks so cute today.” “He really has a talent for that.” “That was really nice of her to do that.” But then I don’t say it out loud.

So my goal is to try to tell them. And I challenge you to do the same. Here’s some ideas to get you started:

1. Don’t delay. When you think something good about your kids, tell them right away. (And the emphasis here is on the good things you think about them.) Make it a point to say it when you think it. It’ll take some conscious effort at first, but then it will become more automatic.
2. Make a list. Write down each child’s qualities and what you love about them. Keep it handy so when you are frustrated at them you can remember what you love. Also, it’ll help you think of things to tell them when you feel they need a positive boost.
3. Keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. It doesn’t have to be a warm, fuzzy moment like the end of a Full House episode. Telling your kids you care about them could be as simple as, “I like how you did your hair today,” and “Thanks for helping me today,” or even “Good job.”
4. Show, Don’t Tell. Of course, words are not the only way to communicate. Every kid needs to hear it, but sometimes they need to be shown it. There’s always a high-five, a game of Go-Fish, or a day out together.

I’m no parenting expert, just a mom trying to figure out my own life. But sometimes we get caught up in the craziness of life and need reminders of what matters most. Take the challenge! Make a goal to show a little extra TLC to each member of you family this week and see what a difference it makes. Good luck!